I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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