I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
we should paint friendship bongs
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