how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
