My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
