You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
