when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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