i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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