i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
