He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
