I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
