I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
