uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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