I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
