i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
