I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
