If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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