So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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