Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
