My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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