Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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