Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
