I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i came on her dog
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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