she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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