Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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