I seem to have left my pride at pride
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize