His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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