i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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