By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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