im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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