Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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