So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You made out with two different species that night
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
