I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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