I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
