i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
