I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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