If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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