Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
