Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
