eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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