just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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