im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
