need another drink. this is the easiest way
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
