So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
