he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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