Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
