Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize