I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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