ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
