Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You were trust falling into bushes
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
