It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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