Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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