I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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