so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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