Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
