Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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