she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
