You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
